Though most people would agree that their childhood was not without stressful situations, it is a time when we do not have the same amount of responsibilities as we do in our adult lives. Because of that, we are free to spend our time as we please, which mostly involves playing games with our peers.
Unfortunately, not all kids have such a care-free childhood. The situation is especially dramatic if one of the parents is a narcissist, as co-parenting with a narcissist is a rather challenging task, or if the parents decide to go through with a divorce. It is a huge shock and could make the children timid, or quite the contrary – overly aggressive.
Although there are no easy ways to make this situation more bearable to the children, it does not mean that such efforts are not worth your time. In this article, we will share our tips on how to help your children stay resilient when their parents are going through a divorce.
Be Honest With Your Kids
It is a good thing, to be honest about the divorce. Children are smart and can sense when something is wrong. They might not understand it at first, but they will begin to notice certain things. Considering this, you should tell them as much as you can about your situation.
Whatever you do, do not try to hide it from them. No matter how hard you try, they will find out eventually. Due to that fact, it is better to be honest with them from the very beginning. They deserve to know what is happening with their parents.
You do not have to go into details about the case and court hearings, but you can tell them why you are going through a divorce. Keep in mind that you should be honest with yourself first before talking to your kids. If you are not ready for this conversation, then wait until you are ready.
Know How To Communicate
Children are very receptive to any changes in their lives. This can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. They will always want to know what is going on and will constantly ask questions about it. They want to understand what is happening in your life, and they might want to help you in some way.
To avoid conflicts and misunderstandings, it is important that you communicate with your children really openly. Tell them everything you can. After all, you do not want to keep them in the dark about what is happening.
Spend Time With Them
You should never underestimate the power of quality time spent with your children. Even though they might feel upset because of the divorce, they will still need your support and love. It is important that they feel like they are not alone in this situation.
Because of that, you should spend as much time as you can playing games, watching movies together, or cooking together. On top of making them feel like they have someone they can count on, it will help take their minds off of the divorce.
Encourage Them To Do Interesting Things
If you want to make going through a divorce more bearable for your children, try to make them participate in fun and educational activities. This will help them deal with the situation better and give them an opportunity to make new friends.
Make sure that you choose activities that suit their age group and interests. This way, they will be able to enjoy themselves and forget about everything else for a while.
Teach Them How To Express Themselves
While going through a divorce, you should teach your children how they can express their negative feelings and cope with them. This is especially important if you have children who tend to bottle up their emotions instead of expressing themselves openly.
For instance, you can start talking to them about the fact that being sad or angry is natural and that they should not be ashamed of feeling that way. Other than that, you can encourage them to pick up hobbies related to arts and crafts.
Take Care of Yourself
It is important that you take care of yourself as well during this difficult period. This means that you should find time to relax and do all the things that make you feel better. It doesn’t matter if you go for a walk or watch a movie together with your children. The only thing that matters is that you feel better and can give your children the support that they need.
As you can see, there are many ways in which you can make a divorce much more bearable for your children. For instance, you can start spending more time with them and do your best to stay honest and open about what is going on.
While you might feel tired and exhausted, it is not an excuse that you can use to neglect the emotional needs of your children. By giving them the time and support they need during that difficult time, you will help them avoid emotional problems in the future.